Circa May 2009


Me: Taran, Roshan, which activities do you want to do this summer?

Taran: We only want to do tennis, swimming, soccer, music lessons and ice-skating this summer.
Roshan: And bowling too.

Me: PHEW! Do you know how much all of this costs?

Taran: Is it a lot?

Me: Yes, a LOT of money.

Taran: Can't papa pay for it?

Me: Sweetheart, papa ONLY works for Infosys!

Taran: Papa, can't you ask them to give you more money?

Ritesh (smiling): I have asked them many times, but they don't listen.

Roshan: No problem! We can pay by check.

Me: But we need to have enough money in our bank account for that.

Roshan: No problem. We will pay by credit card. (Spoken like a true American!!!)

Ritesh: Well, but we have to pay the credit card companies back.

Roshan (with a momentary hestitation of "OHHH OHHH!" quickly figured out the solution): No problem! We will take a loan from the bank.

(By this time, Ritesh and I were rolling on the floor with laughter)

Ritesh: But we still have to repay the loan. Where will the money come from?

Roshan: We just won't repay. We will just ask Timothy Giethener and Barack Obama to take care of this.

Ritesh and me: If we don't pay, they will take our house away. We just might fall in the TARP category.

Roshan (with an "I can fix that too" expression): No problem! If they take our house, we will take theirs; we will just move to the White House! After all mom voted for Obama.

Circa December 2008
Our recent trips to India have piqued Taran and Roshan's interest in Indian mythology. As a result, they are all too familiar with curses and blessings that Gods have bestowed on the ordinary populace of those times that exist in Amar Chitra Kathas and Indian mythological books. But what surprised me was when I saw how it had figured into our lives:

Taran: I want to wear the Bob the Builder T-Shrit.

Roshan: No, I want to wear it.

Taran: No, give it to me.

Roshan: It is my turn today. Last time you wore it.

Taran: No, I didn't. You wore it the last time.

Roshan (Snatching it from Taran and grinning): It is mine now.

Taran (in tears): You snatched it from me!!!! WAHHHH! Ok, I curse you, you will never get married, you will always remain "Kumar Roshan".

Me: Taran, Roshan, did you know that the stimulus bill has finally been passed?

Taran: Really? How long did it take?

Me: A few more days than we thought.

Roshan: How much money did they give away?

Me: $787 billion

Taran: Didn’t they want to give more?

Me: Yes, the earlier plan was $820 billion.

Taran: Then why did they not give more?

Me: Because the other leaders did not agree.

Roshan: But Obama is the biggest boss. Everybody has to listen to him. Then why didn’t Obama give them a time-out?!?!

Taran: Maybe they did not have so many time-out chairs in Washington D.C.!!!!

Taran (crying inconsolably): WHAAAAA! Mummy, Roshan hit me so hard. He just kept hitting me. WHAAAAA!

Me: ROSHAN! Why did you that?

Roshan: Mummy, you always tell me to focus on my work, like when I do writing, or math, so when I was hitting Taran, I was focusing on hitting him very well!!!!

Hello everyone,

My name is Nidhi Idnani and I am Sachin's cousin. Since everyone seems to be stoned here, I have taken upon myself the duty to give the Best Man speech (yeah, I know sisters are not traditionally the ones who are given this honor, but then I have known Sachin so closely that I am certain I shall fulfill this responsibility).

Sachin and I have almost grown up together, and in some ways I have been a quasi mother to him. I have watched him crawl, I have fed him, cleaned up after him just like I did last night when he was pissed drunk and hopping like a kangaroo in his Armani suit, showing off his engagement ring and singing, "I am taken, I am taken. The 59th one finally said YES." and the following minute passed out (possibly worrying about what Shilpa was getting into).


Shilpa, I welcome you to our crazy family. You look stunning! I know you are trying not to show it but we understand what is truly going in your heart - that wedlock sounds like deadlock! So if there is anyone in this room who seems nervous - my heartfelt sympathies to you and yes, I mean Mahar uncle, aunty and Rohit (Shilpa's parents and brother). After all, it takes courage to get your beautiful, smart, intelligent daughter married to Sachin. We all know that all that thing of not losing out a daughter and gaining a son-in-law does not quite add up in the equation. But trust me, I will give her all the warmth and affection that Lalita Pawar and Shashikala gave their daughters-in-law and sisters-in-law in the Bollywood 50s and 60s movies. As regards Sachin, there are tears in his eyes - tears of joy - that he does not have to do his laundry any more.

Typically, at this point of the best Man speech, the speaker traditionally meanders into different stories about the groom in various compromising situations involving the usual vices of binging, boozing and womanizing. How ever, tonight I will do no such thing for I do not wish to implicate myself (only in the boozing part), and his dear friend, Manohar, in any of these sordid allegations of the said debauchery.

People who know me, know very well that I love my brother very much and our family is very proud of his accomplishments this far in life. There isn't nothing I would not do for him and likewise there is nothing he would not do for me; in fact we've spent most of our time doing nothing for each other. But today, I do wish him the very best. So, ladies and gentlemen, here is a toast to the newly wed couple, Sachin and Shilpa. I wish you peace, health and eternal happiness.

Hello,

As we bid goodbye to 2008 and welcome 2009, we wanted to share with you how we all fared this year.

Ritesh has been super busy at Infosys, travelling as if he was in a rush to gain all the miles he possibly could garner and since that would translate into air tickets for the rest of the family, the kids and Nidhi were very supportive of his effort. While in NJ, he was happy to spend “quality” time with the kids, when they bonded over Wii, played games on his iPhone or watched Formula 1 together cheering for Kimi (unfortunately the trio could not bring the race car driver good luck).

Taran and Roshan have had a wonderful year. They achieved so much in 2008 – right from becoming voracious readers to learning how to ice-skate and actually score goals in a soccer match. They love going to school and look forward to all their activities and play dates. They are also talking nonstop which Ritesh conveniently attributes to their maternal genes.

Nidhi had set 2 goals for herself this year – participating in the Avon walk for breast cancer and becoming a blogger. She is thrilled to have achieved both. She walked 39.3 miles (a distance of a marathon and a half) in New York and surpassed her fundraising goal. She is looking for a walker buddy to repeat this feat next year (if anybody is interested please give her a shout). She also enjoys sharing our eccentric family’s anecdotes at http://nidhiidnani.blogspot.com/

2008 went by in a flash and as we welcome 2009, we hope it will bring good luck, good health, prosperity and happiness to you and your loved ones.

Happy New Year!
The Idnani family

NOTE: Apologies to all for the late wishes. My husband began the new year with a BANG - i.e. his laptop crashed and so he decided to elope with mine for a few days. On the numerous occasions I tried to reach him, his cell phone constantly played the Akshay Kumar inspired voicemessage "Chura ke laptop tera, chala main chala". Fortunately, there were no Bollywood inspired pelvic thrusts to accompany it!

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