My Application for Vice-Presidentship

Dear Senator McCain,

Please accept my humble request to assist you in your resolve to lead this great nation. I cite the following credentials for my application to be the Vice President of the United States of America.

Family Values:

  • I am a soccer, swimming and an ice-skating mom. The latter activity could well lead to ice-hockey and then that will ALSO make me a hockey mom. That is 4 credentials against one.
  • I am also involved with my children’s school’s PTA.

Foreign Policy/ World Affairs Record:

  • I got my passport loooooooong before 2007 (the year in which your current veep nominee got hers). In fact, I have held passports from 2 different countries!!!
  • I travelled to 5 European countries, 3 Caribbean nations, 3 Asian countries and Canada.
  • I am married to a “traveler” (Yes, that is what my kids call their dad – someone who travels domestically and internationally 15 days in a month). And, the “dude” has travelled to innumerable countries.
  • This summer, I took my kids to the observatory at the Empire State Building and while pointing at the UN Headquearters, told them that that was the meeting ground for the "good guys" and the "bad guys" where the "good guys" ask the "bad guys" to not be "bad" anymore and turn into "good guys" while the "bad guys" tell the "good guys" that they got it wrong all this while; the "bad guys" were actually the "good guys" and the "good guys" were actually the "bad guys"!!! I admit I will be unable to match the standards of the current veep nominee when it comes to piercing stares while talking about the "good" and the "bad guys" but I can say with certitude that I shall give her a run for her money.
  • I have done photo ops with foreign leaders way back in 2001! I visited Madame Tussauds museum in New York and spent a good 2 hours with them (Yes, I did say 2 HOURS, and not 2 minutes).
  • My children have Diego telescopes which can be used to track Putin if he “rears his head and comes into the airspace of USA” (refer to Sarah Palin’s recent interview with Katie Couric http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/09/25/eveningnews/main4479062.shtml)

Domestic/Economic Policy experience:

  • I can NOT see Wall Street from my house.

Sundry:

  • I never hunt moose or any other animals but I do use a water gun.
  • I talk about “Good guys, Bad guys” (refer to the above mentioned interview) with my 4 year old twins if we happen to see a picture of a bombing/war while showing them the New York Times.
  • I also offer enough entertainment material by virtue of being a mother of 4 year old comics.
  • Even my children are conversant about issues such as global warming and alternative sources of energy. Check out my blog for the same.
  • Lastly, even my children know that Russia and Canada are not IN Alaska (refer to the above mentioned interview). The video below (taken in June 2008) demonstrates their knowledge of geography.

Since your current veep nominee is taking us on a "road to nowhere", it is imperative that you seriously consider my candidature and if you don't, then I shall vow to "suspend" blogging (of course, I will continue to update my blog periodically, just like you have suspended your campaign). While I understand that you have never heard of me or from me, I have full faith in your rather strict vetting process. I am certain, Senator, that this video will clinch the deal for me as this is far longer and thorough than your current vetting process. And, when you call me, Senator, even if it is at 3 AM, I will state without any hesitation, that I am honored and prepared to lead this great nation into a new era.

Thank you and God Bless America,
Nidhi idnani

Comments

Priya said…
Let me first say that I do not care for this country's politics. But I would vote for you blind folded. There is no doubt that you are way more sane than any of these.......
OCDM said…
Absolutely hilarious!

I saw the interview yesterday and was appalled as well...of course, I have neither the writing skills, the platform (blog) nor the correct passport to write this ;)!!!!
Nidhi said…
Priya, many thanks for rooting for me and for believing in my sanity.

Ashu, I hope you did not miss the answer she gave about the financial bailout. She said tax reduction meant "reducing taxes". Reminded me of a prof at FMS who elucidated "Cash flow is the flow of cash and funds flow is the flow of funds"!!!
You are so overqualified that McCain will never consider you--it's a real shame since you would bring a real dose of reality and perspective to the chaos we are experiencing.
Unknown said…
In times of trouble what America needs is people who can entertain them -- maybe for the next couple of years-- so that they can forget their pain ...

you are right on mark - if i have a vote, my vote goes for u - or maybe u can float a party like jaspal bhatti in India.
Pooja said…
Hilarious. Hard Hitting.

Great stuff!
Gaurav Johri said…
This is the second most hilarious thing I read after the Palin interview.
Nidhi said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anandi said…
Way 2 go Nids!!

As someone rightly said, you might be overqualified for this job!!
The republicans might wish you were around during the primaries itself! Unfortunately, I think Bobbsy dearest will be far too intimidated by you!


Chalo at least citizen bankar tere options aur bhi khul gaye hain..

Mera Bharat Mahaan!
Unknown said…
if the post has been removed by blogger, it shows how hard hitting the cooments are.. looks like america is getting afraid of truth --- keep it up
Unknown said…
This must be the best application received by McCain.Must be regreting his choice now.
Great piece of work!!
Shripriya said…
This is really hilarious. I've been meaning to link it in DesiPundit and finally did so.

Nice!
Nidhi said…
Thanks Shripriya. Appreciate it.
Gaurav said…
I'm Impressed......!!!

also The Kid video is Great..!!
God Bless
mathew said…
LOL!! absolutely funny post...though the election is over this post still brings a good laugh..:-D
came here via desipundit!!