Had the presidential debate been in Bollywood, it may well have turned out this way…..Read on…
(Background score: “Aaa dekhe zara, kismein kitna hai dum…..”)

Introduction:
Obama: Barack…. Barack naam hai mera, Barack Obama
McCain: Saree country mujhe maverick ke name se jaanti hai.
Obama: Main is Geeta per haath rakhkar yeh saugandh leta hoon ki jo bhi kahoonga sach kahoonga, aur sach ke siva kuch nahin kahoonga."
McCain (thinking and chuckling): “Tu geeta par haath rakh kar kasam kha, main sarah palin par haath rakh kar kasam khaunga”.
Obama: Mere paas style hai, substance hai, Harvard education hai, tumhaare pass kya hai?
McCain (with a twinkle in his eyes): Mere paas Sarah Palin hai. HAHAHA! (Also does a Dharmendra style victory dance here)

On ECONOMY:
Obama: “Ab hum kisi ko muh dikhaane ke layak nahin rahe". Kya issi din ke liye 8 saal tak Bush ko White House mein rakha tha?"
McCain: Bhagwaan errr Paulson and Bernanke pe bharosa rakho. Sab theek ho jayega. Aur agar nahin hua to main apni campaign suspend kar doonga.

ON IRAQ:
McCain: Main wahi karoonga jo Bush Sr ne kiya hai aur Bush Jr ne kiya hai - WAR, WAR and WAR
Moderator: Yeh WAR kya hota hai?
McCain: Jab humein economic downturn nazar aane lagta hai to hum public ko distract karne ke liye, WAR par jaate hain.
Obama: Maine Iraq mein war continue karne ka idea drop kar diya hai. Ab humein immediately apni economy aur Afghanistan par focus karna hai.
McCain: Abey oye, tu kaun hota hai bolne waala. Hum bhi to oil company mein shareholder hain.

On AFGHANISTAN and Al Qaeda:
McCain: “Osama, Agar Maa ka doodh piya hai to saamne aa.” “Chun Chun ke maaroonga, ek-ek ko chun chun ke maroonga”
Obama: “USA ne tumhe charon taraf se gher liya hain - apne aap ko kannon ke haawale kar do”

On IRAN:
McCain: “Goli se udaa do usse”
Obama: “Shaant gadardari Beem errr McCain, shaant” We have to engage in dialogue. I will say - ”Jurm ki duniya ka betaaj badshah ... Ahmadijenad ", " Apne hathiyaar phenk do "
Moderator (in a Tikku Talsaniya pose/tone): " Ouff! Yeh kya ho raha hai "

On PAKISTAN:
McCain: Obama ne bola ki woh Pakistan mein military strikes launch karega. President Gaddari errr Zardari “hairaan pareshaan ho jaayenge”.
Obama: Zabaan ko lagaam do .."Maine aisa nahin kaha tha”. “Kash tum mera yakin kar sakte.”

On RUSSIA:
Obama: Yeh sauda (Georgia) unhe bahut mehnga padega". Agar tumhe maine yeh karne diya, to mera naam Obama nahin"
McCain: Obama, “abhi tum doodh peete bachche ho”. “Maine Putin ki aankh mein jhaank kar dekha hai. Usmein likha tha KGB” Usi tarah maine Sarah Palin ki aankhon mein jhaank kar dekha tha, usme likha tha “Bridge to nowhere”. HAHAHA! (Another victory dance here – this time Dilip Kumar style)

RESULT:
Moderator: Tamaam gawaahon aur sabooton ko maddhe nazar rakhte hue is adaalat ka faisla hai ki Obama ko haraana mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai.

Debate ends with the camera focussing on a beaming Obama and the background score, “Arre deewanoon, mujhe pehchanoon, kahan se aaya, main hoon kaun….”

5 comments

  1. Pooja  

    I was waiting to see this (ever since the debate) - and it was so worth it. Fantastico!

    P.S: The new avtaar of the blog - in every sense - is great.

  2. Ashu  

    great stuff...keep it up. Though I do sense a great conflict between Nancy & Nidhi :)...

  3. Nidhi  

    Pooja and Ashu, Thanks so much.
    As u can probably make out, Nancy on passport and Nidhi in heart.

  4. Richa  

    meri filmi heroine, tune bollywood ko ek nayi script de di hai.. now we have to watch out for the remixes

  5. Nidhi  

    Richa bhabhi, maybe we shd ask Parth and Aseem to take a look at it ;>) after all, it will be all in the family :>)

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