Today was the nth time I was asked my occupation. I answered I am a homemaker or a stay at home mom but the person on the other side of the table looked at me in disdain. He had an expression which was that of a person waiting for me to complete the sentence by adding a connecting word. I am a homemaker and …. But hello, there is no AND; on the contrary there is a FULL STOP. I am a Homemaker. PERIOD. And in American parlance that also means I am a soccer mom. Then the natural question that follows “so, when are you planning to go back to work?”
My DH (Darling Husband) has a traveling job. A few years ago, on being asked by my Hispanic help, what my husband does and telling her that he works for an IT company, she gave me that all-knowing nod, “ah ha, you mean he fixes computers in other people’s homes”. Well, unfortunately, my husband does not possess any such technical skills but, yes, he does travel a lot, and by virtue of that, I am left to run the household. Apart from the mundane stuff of cleaning, laundry, cooking etc., it also includes trying to balance both my kids on my hips (God Almighty, I now know why you BLESSED me with such wide ones) and walking down a flight of stairs because invariably one wakes up coughing, sneezing, wheezing and needs TLC but the other one feels it will be UNFAIR if he does not get the joy aka hip ride!!! It also includes fighting the milk battle every morning, brushing one child’s teeth while the other is screaming in frustration that he is done with his poop and what is taking me so long to clean him up, running after 2 brats in the school parking lot, one of whom chooses to run in exactly the oppos
ite direction of his brother. Hey, are you sweating? Awww! Come on! I am just warming up. I have only given you a glimpse of the first 2 hours of my day. After I pick them up from school, I have got to take them for their various activities – soccer, ice-skating, swimming, play dates etc. while listening to the track “Five green and speckled fogs sat on a speckled log...” the 287th time. And all of this while giving them their snack and smoothie/juice. And God save me if I give one the “Elmo” juice and the other “Big Bird” juice. If I dare commit that crime, our poor Honda Odyssey will transform into a battleground and I will be forced to single-handedly take on the role of UN peace keeping force, all of this while I have one hand on the wheel, one eye on the road and the other focused on the rear view mirror which has been strategically angled to show my adorable angels err sparring cats. I had once read “A soccer mom delivers once obstetrically and for the rest of her life by her minivan.” I couldn’t agree more. My day also includes taking them to the supermarket where we will keep driving around the parking lot till we spot an empty car cart where they can imagine that they are Michael Schumacher and are driving their Ferraris. And only after I finish paying up at the checkout counter do I realize that apart from my list of groceries, I have bought 2 packets of M&Ms, some Oreo and chocolate chip cookies and a Diego toothpaste that will sit by the 6 other Dora, Diego and Spiderman toothpastes and adorn the vanity in the kids bathroom. After all this, my DH calls from across the ether and asks rather innocently “So, what did you do today?” I am very tempted to say, “I went to the club with my girlfriends, we had a couple of cosmos and then we hit the dance floor and gyrated our hips to Shakira’s music!!!” My moment of redemption came when on my return from a sudden trip to California, hubby darling proclaimed, “Here are the kids. They are all yours. How do you do it?” 
Kelly Ripa had once said that children are like pancakes – you spoil the first one, get better at the second and are the best with your third. I got 2 at one shot (my DH and I took BOGO – Buy one get one free, the American mantra, to heart). And now, reverting to the big question asked of me on any and every social occasion, I am NOT planning to go back to work. Yes, I am a homemaker, and I am very proud to be one. Yes, I am a soccer mom and I love my pancakes even if I am spoiling them a wee bit. I have deep admiration for mothers who have a great career going for them and who are able to bring up wonderful children with great ease – hats off to them and more power to them. But I am content and happy in my role. This is one “Occupation” that gives me immense joy and a huge sense of pride. Yes, there are moments of helplessness when I feel like pulling my hair. But those are far and few and are a reminder that I am a human being before I am a mother. I remember the moment when Taran said his first word “Dada” in January 2005 to now when he entertains me with his endless stories and songs. I can still visualize the time when Roshan started walking a few weeks after turning one to now when he has turned into a daredevil trying new stunts on his bicycle and doing cartwheels. I remember vividly when they both learnt their ABCs to now when they have become voracious readers. I look back at the time when I decided to put in my papers. I had a good job, a decent paycheck and everyone at my workplace was super supportive and yet, the decision to leave was simple and easy. I am so glad I chose to stay at home lest I would have missed out on these priceless moments. So, no matter what anyone says, I am delighted and proud to be a SOCCER MOM. PERIOD!
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