On Sunday, May 18th, my friend’s husband, Atul passed away at a young age of 38. He was diagnosed with brain cancer merely 6 weeks ago. He is survived by his mother, wife, a 4.5 year old son and a 1 year old daughter. The last few weeks have been grueling for him and his family. They had to go through what no one should ever experience.
We all have been programmed to believe that one should let fate intervene in our lives and decide what is best. As much as I try, I fail to fathom what is good in this particular situation. On the contrary, I find it very harsh and cruel for both, Atul and his family. I was fortunate to stand by my friend while she dealt with this crisis. To all out there at the hospital, she was the epitome of strength. But the anguish in her eyes was evident while she stood there helpless, seeing her husband slip away gradually. His mother stood there holding his hand trying to make sense of a situation which was completely nonsensical to begin with. Each day his children waited with anticipation for their dad to return home. Now the only memories they will have of him will be through some video footage and photographs clicked over the years which were meant to capture happy moments and not serve as the only means to know their dad.
Thing will never be the same again for Atul’s family because they have felt the pain of seeing the most important thing in their life disappear from one moment to another. They have experienced their souls getting a blow as if some force snatched their joy away. Yet, they need to go back to the world of dropping the kids to school, washing the dishes, paying the bills, cooking and eating to keep their bodies alive while their souls have a permanent hollow. But at night, they may remain wandering in space, cherishing the moments they spent with Atul as they toss and turn in vain to accept the fact that he is not lying down next to them. However, they have to keep going on, perhaps, with the faith that he has gone to a better place, or else, risk going mad.
As for me, I suffer a huge sense of loss with Atul’s passing. I have always enjoyed interacting with him but what endeared him the most to me was to see how happy my friend was with Atul. The phrase “made for each other” was probably coined with them in mind. I sit here today, reminiscing about the time when Atul made bubbles with his son and my kids in the backyard of his beautiful house, when he drove us to Monterey to see the aquarium and Carmel to experience a stunning sunset and enjoy walking across the cobbled street of this quaint town. I also remember the time when he insisted he would take me to the Golden Gate Bridge on my first trip to California. Years later, it was the same bridge where Atul ran the half marathon with an injured leg. Atul was never the kinds who would fret and fume about anything; on the contrary, his “never say no” attitude and positive frame of mind won him many friends. Perhaps, deep down, he knew that our time on this Earth is short but sacred and we should celebrate each moment. I sincerely hope that he will remain as happy, if not happier, in the place where he has gone. I hope and pray that God gives his family and loved ones the strength and fortitude to deal with this unimaginable loss.
We all have been programmed to believe that one should let fate intervene in our lives and decide what is best. As much as I try, I fail to fathom what is good in this particular situation. On the contrary, I find it very harsh and cruel for both, Atul and his family. I was fortunate to stand by my friend while she dealt with this crisis. To all out there at the hospital, she was the epitome of strength. But the anguish in her eyes was evident while she stood there helpless, seeing her husband slip away gradually. His mother stood there holding his hand trying to make sense of a situation which was completely nonsensical to begin with. Each day his children waited with anticipation for their dad to return home. Now the only memories they will have of him will be through some video footage and photographs clicked over the years which were meant to capture happy moments and not serve as the only means to know their dad.
Thing will never be the same again for Atul’s family because they have felt the pain of seeing the most important thing in their life disappear from one moment to another. They have experienced their souls getting a blow as if some force snatched their joy away. Yet, they need to go back to the world of dropping the kids to school, washing the dishes, paying the bills, cooking and eating to keep their bodies alive while their souls have a permanent hollow. But at night, they may remain wandering in space, cherishing the moments they spent with Atul as they toss and turn in vain to accept the fact that he is not lying down next to them. However, they have to keep going on, perhaps, with the faith that he has gone to a better place, or else, risk going mad.
As for me, I suffer a huge sense of loss with Atul’s passing. I have always enjoyed interacting with him but what endeared him the most to me was to see how happy my friend was with Atul. The phrase “made for each other” was probably coined with them in mind. I sit here today, reminiscing about the time when Atul made bubbles with his son and my kids in the backyard of his beautiful house, when he drove us to Monterey to see the aquarium and Carmel to experience a stunning sunset and enjoy walking across the cobbled street of this quaint town. I also remember the time when he insisted he would take me to the Golden Gate Bridge on my first trip to California. Years later, it was the same bridge where Atul ran the half marathon with an injured leg. Atul was never the kinds who would fret and fume about anything; on the contrary, his “never say no” attitude and positive frame of mind won him many friends. Perhaps, deep down, he knew that our time on this Earth is short but sacred and we should celebrate each moment. I sincerely hope that he will remain as happy, if not happier, in the place where he has gone. I hope and pray that God gives his family and loved ones the strength and fortitude to deal with this unimaginable loss.
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